Where are you? Are you OK? Are you Hurt?

I just found out that a friend's husband went missing a day and a half ago. An experienced rider, he went out for an evening bike ride in the wilderness and hasn't been seen since. I can empathize with the shock and distress the family is feeling right now, not knowing if he is hurt and unable to reach help, if he is lost - or worse. It is stunning news to be told your loved one is missing. It seems so unreal - a nightmare that blankets you with numbness and fills you with anxiety and panic, while catapulting you into a state of excruciating limbo. Time stops and life suddenly feels as if it is playing in slow motion. You don't want to believe this is happening and you feel helpless as you wait for news. Your brain is overwhelmed with constant thoughts of the missing person - you desperately want to know where they are and you hope and pray they are OK. You experience uncontrollable chills, shivering, shaking - and not from being cold. And you have trouble eating because food seems repulsive. And sleeping, well, that seems impossible.

It's OK to cry - you don't have to hide what you are feeling. And it's OK to talk about your feelings - find someone you trust who will listen when you need to talk.
This must be hard for you. I want you to know I'm here, and I want to listen. Take all the time you need.

Melanie Hack

Author of Who Killed My Sister, My Friend -
The unsolved mystery of the death of Cindy James